When I'm With You
by Carolina'sDreams
Summary: ARROW AU - Felicity is a Merlyn. When she was only five years-old, her father dropped her off to live with the Queens. She had expected it to be a few days, but those days turned into weeks, into months and into years. This is the story of her friendship with Oliver, how she found her true calling, and how secrets can ruin you.
1. Somewhere Only We Know

**CHAPTER ONE: SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW**

_I walked across an empty land_  
_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_  
_I felt the earth beneath my feet_  
_Sat by the river and it made me complete_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_I came across a fallen tree_  
_I felt the branches of it looking at me_  
_Is this the place we used to love?_  
_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_

_Oh simple thing where have you gone_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_

_And if you have a minute why don't we go_  
_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_

Drawing back the curtains, bathing the room in sunlight, Moira Queen tried to get her son out of bed. The boy groaned and rubbed his eyes against the sudden light. It was a beautiful day and the end of the summer was approaching. Some birds were chirping in a tree not far from the window. The grass of the garden behind the mansion looking greener than ever.

"Oliver, sweetheart, you have to get out of bed. Felicity will be here soon."

"Who is Felicity?" The eight-year-old sat up in his bed.

Moira chuckled softly and walked over to her sons bed and sat down on the edge.

"Do you remember uncle Malcolm?"

"Yes. Is she his daughter?"

"Yes. And she's really sweet. But you can't play with her if you're still in your pajama's."

Oliver nodded and scrambled off the bed and to his dresser. Moira stood up and walked over to her son, placing her hands on his shoulders and leaning in.

"Why don't you take that new shirt I bought you yesterday."

He nodded again and reached for a pair of khaki trousers to go with the denim shirt they had picked up the day before.

"If you're ready you can come downstairs and have breakfast with your dad and me."

"Can I have pancakes?"

Moira smiled. "Of course, sweetheart."

She walked out of the room, her son very capable of dressing himself and headed downstairs to look for Robert. She found him reading the morning newspaper and sipping coffee.

"Well, at least your son's excited about it." She sighed as she moved to the seat next to her husband. Robert didn't answer, but she could see how his face fell into a sad expression, his jaw clenching just a little bit. Taking a sip of her orange juice, she leaned back into the chair and tried to calm herself a little.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" She asked after a moment of silence.

Robert swallowed his coffee and put the paper and the mug down before looking at his wife.

"Malcolm is my oldest friend. If he needs this, than I'm going to help him in any way that I can. You weren't going to let the poor girl live all on her own in that house, were you."

Moira smiled a little. "No, of course not. I guess you're right."

He reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it softly.

"Don't worry, the kid is like an angel." He reassured her.

Moira nodded. "I know."

She took another sip of her orange juice as Oliver came stomping into the room with a big smile on his face.

"Morning dad" He greeted as he pulled himself on the chair across from Moira.

"Good morning, buddy. Did you have any more bad dreams last night?"

Oliver shook his head. "No, only nice dreams."

Much to Moira's concern, her son had been 'terrorized' by nightmares more and more over the last few weeks. He had told her that he couldn't remember what they were about, but that they gave him the feeling like something bad was going to happen, and he didn't like it. His grades in school had dropped due to the lack of sleep. His teacher had suggested seeing a psychologist, but Moira hadn't taken her advice yet, because he seemed to be getting a little better, Robert sitting beside his bed every night until he fell asleep.

"That's great. Are you excited about today?"

The boy nodded as he scooped a couple of pancakes on his plate and dug into them. Moira met Robert's gaze and smiled a little. They fell into easy conversation and continued eating their breakfast. Oliver was excited about meeting his new friend, and was the first one to be hopping out of his chair and running into the foyer when Raisa came in and announced that Mr. Merlyn had arrived and was coming up to the front door. Moira and Robert followed after their son, ready to meet their guests and start the new stage of their life.

Malcolm Merlyn had always been a good friend to Robert and Moira. He had his charm, and expert business skills, but he could get carried away and act rash and make snap decisions that weren't always in the best interest of those he loved. As they were waiting in the foyer, Malcolm was driving up to the front door to drop off his daughter. His wife Rebecca passed away three months before, and after weeks of depression he decided to go, travel around the world, anywhere as long as it wasn't Starling City. What he hadn't thought of was his five year-old daughter, Felicity, and what that would possibly do to her. As soon as Robert became known to this plan, he offered to let her stay with them in the Queen Manor, his heart not able to let the girl live alone in a house full of servants.

The door swung open and a smiling Malcolm walked into the foyer.

"Robert, Moira. How are you today?"

Robert stepped forward and shook the other man's hand.

"We're fine. Maybe a little curious about how this is going to play out, but otherwise everything is great."

"Wonderful to hear. And you, Oliver, don't you ever stop growing?" Malcolm said smiling as he reached out and mussed the boy's hair. Oliver chuckled and after his voice faded the room was filled with silence for a moment.

Malcolm sighed. "Now, Oliver, buddy, I would like you to meet my daughter, Felicity."

The little girl had been hiding behind her father, hanging on to his hand as if it were a lifeline. She had been carefully examining all the new people, vaguely remembering the two grown-ups, but the boy was someone new. Her eyes wide behind her glasses, dark brown curls tumbling around her face and cascading over her shoulders, one of her hands nervously playing with her necklace. Oliver stepped forward and curiously cocked his head to the side.

"Hi. I'm Oliver." He said cheerfully.

Felicity looked up at her father as if to get permission to take Oliver's extended hand. Malcolm nodded slowly and then jerked his head in Oliver's direction.

"Go on then, don't be shy, sweetheart." He said.

Felicity took a deep breath and slowly let go of his hand, stepping towards Oliver. Her small hand fit perfectly in his slightly larger one. She smiled a little as they shook hands, and then shyly diverted her eyes to her royal blue ballet flats.

"I'm Felicity." She said hesitantly.

"Oliver, sweetheart, why don't you take Felicity to your secret hide-out?" Moira chimed.

Oliver looked at his mother for a second before turning back to Felicity.

"Do you want to see it?" He asked her.

Felicity hesitated for a second before she nodded and she followed Oliver with a skip in her step as he led her to his favorite spot on the Queen grounds. The adults moved to get more comfortable in the living room, Moira sitting down on one of the couches, Robert next to her, Malcolm on the couch across from them.

"Robert, I can't thank you enough for doing this."

He held up his hand to stop Malcolm. "It's nothing. You would do the same for me."

There was a second of silence before Malcolm spoke again. "Of course."

"So? Any idea on where you will be going?" Moira asked.

Malcolm pondered for a moment, lips pursing and eyes narrowing.

"I'm thinking China, Thailand, India, maybe Tibet."

There wasn't any enthusiasm in his voice that there would normally be when about to travel the world. Moira smiled softly, trying to hide her discomfort.

"Sounds lovely."

Malcolm nodded in agreement. "I trust that you will take good care of Felicity."

"Of course we will, she's a sweetheart." Robert said immediately, resulting in a soft scoff from Malcolm.

"Just enjoy your moments of silence, because when she has found her place, she won't be able to stop talking. It's endearing, but makes you appreciate a moment of solitude."

"I'm sure it's all meant well." Moira said with a soft smile.

Meanwhile, Oliver had taken Felicity almost all the way to the back of the Queen lands, they had already passed the stables and were now walking in a more forest-like area. Oliver stepped over a fallen tree and held out a hand to help her over. She took it gratefully and hopped on and off the tree again.

"Oliver? Are we going much further?" She asked.

"Don't worry, we're almost there." He said, looking over his shoulder and smiling at her.

A little while later they stood in front of an enormous oak tree. From its branches, hundreds of colored glass jars with lights in them were hanging just a little too high for them to reach. Oliver stepped towards the trunk of the tree, his hands reaching for a sturdy looking piece of rope tied around one of the lower branches. He unknotted it, letting it slip through his fingers. He looked upwards and smiled a little. Felicity followed his gaze and stared in awe at the enormous tree house above them. With Oliver loosening the rope, a rope ladder came clattering down against the trunk of the tree.

"Did you build this?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, with my dad. You wanna see the inside?"

Felicity nodded and Oliver gestured to her to come closer and climb up the ladder. She took hold of the ladder and climbed up to pull herself onto the platform. Dusting off her jeans, she waited for Oliver to come up, looking around her, there was a rope bridge that lead to another little cabin. They were surrounded by green and even more jar lights hanging around them. Oliver stepped past her and held open the door to the first cabin.

"Welcome" He said with a smile. She smiled back at him and stepped inside, taking a look around the room that was set up. There was a little couch with a fluffy carpet in front of it, a small table with three chairs and a stack of seemingly old board games, the cardboard boxes faded and clearly used often. In another corner stood a small cabinet with a cooler on top. From the inside of the gable roof, hung a cord of fairy-lights and a single jar light to illuminate the room at night.

"How do you power these?" She asked, turning around to look at Oliver.

"Hmm?"

"The lights, where do they get their electricity?"

Realization hit Oliver and he nodded. "Uhm, my dad called it a generator. It's hidden in some bushes somewhere behind the tree."

Felicity nodded in understanding.

"Why don't you pick out a game to play and I'll get us some juice pouches." Oliver said, pointing at the stack of board-games.

"I would like that." Felicity chuckled and stepped towards the games. She picked one and put it on the table, lifting the lid of the box and taking out the board.

"Orange or strawberry?"

"Strawberry please."

Oliver handed her a drink and sat down across from her. "Thank you." Felicity said with a smile and a blush.

They played Monopoly for hours. Chatting about anything and everything. From Oliver's treehouse to Felicity's favorite books. The initial shyness had fallen away quickly after they started playing, both in it to win it. Both with parents in business, they were taught how to play Monopoly from a very early age. Felicity didn't know how long they had been up there, but she found she didn't really care. This was the most fun she had had in a long time. After her mother had passed away she had grown apart from her friends, not being able to understand how they could possibly be so happy and joyful when all she could feel was sadness and grief. The loss of her mother had torn her apart. She adored her, Rebecca would paint her nails and braid her hair and together they would read books about faraway places and magical kingdoms.

"My dad is leaving me here, you know." She suddenly said.

Oliver stopped moving his pawn, eyes a little wide in surprise.

"He's going out of town for a few days."

"I didn't know that. But don't worry, that just means that I get to spend more time with you."

He smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back at him.

"So? What's in the other cabin?"

Oliver chuckled. "A TV and a couple of mattresses for camping."

"Ohh! Can we do that sometime?"

He nodded happily and laughed, trying to make her laugh again. A little while later, they climbed down the ladder and started walking back towards the house. Sensing Felicity's mood hadn't improved as much as he would like it to, Oliver had held her hand until they reached the back door of the Queen Mansion.

"Mom! We're back!" Oliver called out, walking back into the sitting room, where Moira was reading a book. She looked up as they walking into her line of sight and put the book down.

"Hi sweetheart, did you two have fun?"

Oliver and Felicity nodded in unison, both noticing it and chuckling softly. Felicity stepped a little closer to Moira.

"Mrs. Queen? Where is my dad?" She asked in her small, high-pitched voice.

Moira was silent for a moment, her gaze moving from Felicity to Oliver, who frowned a little and back to Felicity. She sighed softly. "Oh, sweetheart."

Felicity didn't need to hear anything more. Her eyes started welling up with tears and her bottom lip started trembling.

"He already left, didn't he" She didn't ask, she simply stated, in a shaky voice.

"He didn't even say goodbye."

Moira exhaled slowly and pulled the girl next to her on the couch, tears already streaming down Felicity's cheeks. Shaky huffs of air escaping from her lips, shoulders trembling. The older woman pulled the girl against her side and wrapped one arm around her, the other hand reaching out to stroke her hair.

"Oh, sweetie. He didn't say goodbye because he was afraid that if he did, he wouldn't want to go anymore, and this trip is really important for his job."

Felicity's sobs continued but in a slightly slower pace. Oliver had come to sit next to her and held her hand, softly stroking the back of hers with his thumb. He looked up at his mother for a second, wandering what to do to help. Moira gave him a sad smile and continued comforting the sobbing five year-old girl in her arms.

* * *

Please review! I would love to hear what you think and how you think this story should develop. I'm always open for suggestions! I'm really excited for this fic and I wanna thank all the people who have supported and convinced me to write it!

_**Love, Carolina**_


	2. After The Storm

**CHAPTER TWO: AFTER THE STORM**

_And after the storm,_  
_I run and run as the rains come_  
_And I look up, I look up,_  
_on my knees and out of luck,_  
_I look up._

_Night has always pushed up day_  
_You must know life to see decay_  
_But I won't rot, I won't rot_  
_Not this mind and not this heart,_  
_I won't rot._

_And I took you by the hand_  
_And we stood tall,_  
_And remembered our own land,_  
_What we lived for._

_And there will come a time,_  
_you'll see, with no more tears._  
_And love will not break your heart,_  
_but dismiss your fears._  
_Get over your hill and see_  
_what you find there,_  
_With grace in your heart_  
_and flowers in your hair._

It was the first snow she had ever seen. She watched as she snowflakes came twirling down onto the ground, the earth finally cooled off enough to let it stick. Her breath left a foggy spot on the window as she pressed her nose up against it. It was Christmas eve, the first of many she got to spend with the Queens. The family had traveled to their cabin in Aspen, lying atop one of the mountains with a beautiful view of the valley. The minute they got there, Oliver and Felicity had completely forgotten what they had been bickering about, probably on the matter of 'who gets the last cookie'. He showed her all the fun things the house contained, like the home theatre, the indoor swimming pool, the recreational room, with all kinds of brand new tech stuff and arcade games. The cabin did have that signature Moira Queen-feel, but much more rustic and with a lot more wood in the exterior and interior. It still looked luxurious, though, with its expensive fabrics and impressively big windows and rooms. It probably wasn't even that much smaller than the mansion.

The last place Oliver showed her was by far her favorite, the library. Even though she was only five, five years, ten months and twenty one days if you asked her, she already had developed an inextinguishable passion for books. She had loved listening to her mother telling her stories, and not just the children's books, no, Shakespeare. The tone of her voice always soothing her, and the compelling way the words would flow together into a sentence never seized to amaze her. She didn't understand much of it, of course, but she loved it nonetheless.

Moira had taken it upon her to read to her sometimes, the Queen library having quite the range to choose from. Even Oliver took the time to read her something when she couldn't sleep, and maybe he wasn't such an experienced reader and mostly read her children's books, she didn't enjoy it any less. She seemed to grow particularly fond of 'Guess How Much I Love You' by Sam McBratney. Besides the stories, Felicity also loved the smell of all the books in one room, and the way it never seems to be cold in a library.

The first few days in Aspen were spent playing with the toys they thought they didn't have at home. Truth is, everything is just more exciting when you're in a new place. Now, Felicity and Oliver were putting on their coats and winter boots and corresponding accessories to go out and play in the snow. Well, actually, only Oliver was because Felicity had been ready to go out even before the first snowflake touched to ground.

"Come on, Oliver! We're wasting time!" She called from the window, without taking her eyes off the snow to look at him, fumbling with the buttons of his coat.

"I'm coming alright!"

Moira came walking into the room, carrying a small wooden sled in her arms. She put it down next to Felicity and handed her the rope it was attached to so she could pull it along.

"I want you two back inside before it gets dark out, okay."

Felicity nodded and gave her a hug.

"Alright, now have fun."

A few seconds later he was at her side and pushed open the glass door leading into the backyard. Oliver took her hand and pulled her outside. She laughed as they ran up the hills, pulling the sled after her. Panting short huffs of air, their breath immediately condensing in the cold, they reached the top of the hill. They looked at each other for a moment, nodding simultaneously with big grins on their faces. Felicity pulled at the sled and placed it horizontal on the ground. She sat down on top of the sled, Oliver behind her.

"Ready?" He asked.

A chuckle escaped from her lips and she nodded. "Yes!"

Oliver started pushing off against the ground, getting them closer to the slope. "Here we go!" He yelled before the one final push that sent them flying down, speeding up, dashing through the fresh snow. Felicity squealed in delight, Oliver's arms wrapped around her protectively until they slowly came to a stop.

"Again!" Felicity exclaimed. Oliver laughed and pushed himself off the sled and took her hand to pull her up as well. Together, they climbed back up the hill, only to slide back down again. After a couple more sleigh rides Felicity let herself fall backwards into the snow, making a snow angel with her arms and legs. Laughing, she let Oliver pull her up, and together they admired her work.

"It sucks" she said as she looked at the slightly deformed angel in the snow.

"I like it." Oliver said with a smile.

"LIAR!" Felicity yelled and she gave him a nudge with her shoulder and spurted off. Scooping some snow up in her hands, she attempted at making a ball of it and throwing it in Oliver's direction. He took his revenge very seriously. His arms carrying as much snow as they could, he chased her down until she was too tired to run. He caught up with her, throwing the snow at her, covering her completely. They both fell down laughing, Felicity rubbing the snow off her face. But, Oliver wasn't done yet, finally rolling over and tickling her until she was begging for mercy. Her breath still evening out, she sat up and hovered over him.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

Oliver raised an eyebrow at her.

"It doesn't have to be a snowman, it can also be a snow car, or a snow boat, or maybe a snow fort!"

Oliver chuckled and sat up.

"I'd love to build a snowman with you."

Felicity clapped happily, and made a little fist pump. It had started getting darker when they were satisfied with their creation. They stood in front of the snow man, examining it like art-critics at a gallery. Felicity cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips.

"It's…something." She said, turning her head to look at Oliver. He couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped from his lips. It turned into a louder laugh and then he was simply having an attack of the giggles.

"It looks ridiculous." He laughed.

Oliver's laughter seemed to be contagious, because not a second later, Felicity burst out into laughter too. Taking her hand, they hurried back to the cabin, where Moira was already looking out of the window, waiting for them to return.

"Look at you two! You're soaking wet." She said when the two of them entered the warmth and comfort of the cabin. Felicity suddenly felt very cold with her wet clothes and wet hair. Her teeth started chattering, and Moira hurried over to the shuddering girl.

"Oh sweetie, let's get you dried up and warm."

They quickly disposed of her boots and soaked-through coat, as did Oliver. Moira took Felicity's hand and hurried the two kids upstairs and into their bedroom to change. Oliver plopped down on his bed, across from Felicity's. He took a deep breath and sighed, taking one of the towels his mother handed him to dry his hair. Letting Moira help her, Felicity quickly disposed of all the wet clothes. She took the sweater Moira handed her, a cream colored one with a puppy on it, her favorite. A few minutes later, she was all dried up and starting to warm up again, dressed in her sweater, comfy, plaid pajama pants and fuzzy socks. Oliver, dressed in similar attire, climbed onto her bed to sit next to her.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." Moira said, turning around to look at her son.

"Why don't you go downstairs and tell your father about your day."

Oliver looked at Felicity, silently asking her if she would like that. The girl smiled brightly, her lips still a little blue from the cold and she nodded.

"Alright." Oliver said, turning back to his mother and hopping of the bed. With Felicity's hand in his the two of them hurried down the stairs and into the living-room where a fire was crackling in the fireplace.

Robert was pacing through the room, talking on the phone, clearly upset about the topic of conversation.

"I honestly think that's not such a good idea." He said, turning to face the window, crossing his arms in front of him. He was silent for a moment, listening to whatever it was the person on the other end of the line had to say. Oliver and Felicity looked at each other, not sure if this was the right time to interrupt. Frowning a little, Oliver dared to step closer.

"Dad?"

Robert whipped his head around to see the two kids standing in the doorway, his expression softened.

"One second, son." He said before turning back around, holding up a finger. Nodding, Oliver stepped further into the room and sat down on the sofa, gesturing to Felicity to come join him.

"Are you really willing to put her through that again?" They overheard Robert say, even though he was speaking in a hushed voice now.

"Fine." The man muttered and he turned around and walked over to the couch Felicity and Oliver were sitting on. He bent down in front of Felicity and gave her a sympathetic look.

"Felicity, sweetheart, it's your father. He wants to talk to you."

Felicity's eyes widened and her mouth fell open a little. She turned to see Oliver frowning, and then to Robert, who was holding out the 1993 cell phone to her. She swallowed to took it from him, holding it to her ear.

"Daddy? Is that you?"

"How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm fine, daddy. The Queens are really nice and Oliver and I have lots of fun."

She heard a soft chuckle on the other end of the line and smiled a little.

"That's great to hear. Merry Christmas, pumpkin."

She sighed, already knowing that this meant the end of the conversation.

"Daddy, wait, please don't go. When are you coming back? Why didn't you say goodbye?"

She had been burning up with all these questions since the day she moved in with the Queens. Since that day, she had gone through several emotional stages, first there was hurt, then came anger and incomprehension, and then the cycle repeated itself. After this phone call, she would hate him for denying her the answers she needed so badly.

"I don't know, baby. I don't know."

She was silent for a moment, closing her eyes and opening them again to hide the tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks.

"I love you, pumpkin."

Felicity swallowed. "I love you too, daddy."

And then Malcolm hung up the phone. Without a word, she handed the device back to Robert. He took it from her and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it softly. Felicity shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to get rid of the tears.

Later that night, Oliver and Felicity safely tucked into their beds, Moira asked Robert about the phone call. Moira was rather upset that he had given Felicity the phone.

"We're not her parents, Moira! We don't get to decide. We can't keep him from talking to his daughter, you know that."

Moira nodded slowly. "Does he know how much it's tearing at her. Did you see her at dinner, poor thing barely said a word."

"I think he knows. But, what are we supposed to do about it? It's not like we can take all her bad memories about him away from her."

"I know." Moira said, stepping forward and taking her husband's hands in hers. "That's why we'll make her new ones. With us."

* * *

_It was cold down here, he was still in the same pajama's he was in when he had gone to bed that night. Wrapping his arms around himself to keep warm, Oliver examined his surroundings. He couldn't see anything except the concrete floor that seemed to stretch on into oblivion. There weren't any walls, or a ceiling for that matter, everything just faded into black. Never had he ever felt so cold, and alone. It started raining. Not just a drizzle, no, full hair blowing, wind howling, pouring down rain. Shivering, he was about to sink down to his knees, not knowing what to do or where he was when something flew past him. Thwick. And again. Thwick. Thwick. He couldn't see what it was, flying to fast for him to see anything but a blur, but it sure scared the hell out of him. The noise stopped for a second. Whipping his head around, still not seeing anything other than darkness, he started running in the opposite direction that the scary things had come from. But there wasn't anywhere to go, so he just kept on running and running, the sound returning and making him run even faster. Until his legs gave out and he tripped onto the hard concrete. He took a moment to catch his breath, slowly cracking open an eye. He screamed when he saw what, or rather who was hovering over him. A man, dressed in all black, the lower half of his face covered, the black hood falling over his eyes, covering him in darkness. The man was holding a black compound bow, aiming the knocked arrow at Oliver's head. He screamed. And screamed again. He screamed until his lungs gave out._

Felicity awoke to hearing Oliver's struggle. She didn't exactly wake up because she hadn't been sleeping, really, but when she heard Oliver tossing in his bed, muffled groans coming from his throat, she started to worry. Sitting up, she looked over to his bed, he lay there, rolling from side to side, pulling on the comforter, burying his face in his pillow. She pushed herself off the bed and padded over to the other end of the room, to Oliver.

"Oliver?" she whispered, not getting a response, only muttering and more tossing.

She hauled herself up on the edge of his bed, carefully wrapping both of her hands around one of his, clenched into a fist, holding onto the sheets. She eased his hand free and tangled his fingers with hers, her other hand flying to his shoulder. She shook him carefully.

"Oliver. Oliver, wake up."

Suddenly, he went still, very still, if it hadn't been for his chest rising and falling, she might have thought he was dead. His forehead glistened with sweat in the moonlight falling through the window. She shook him again, this time a little harder.

"Oliver."

His eyes flew open and he lunged forward, sitting up. Eyes wary, breathing heavy, he turned to see Felicity sitting beside him. He tightened his hand around hers and tried to steady his breathing.

"Nightmare?" she asked. Oliver nodded. He hadn't had nightmares in ages, it seemed like forever ago since he had woken up drenched in sweat. It really hadn't been that long, but in a child's life, everything seemed like an eternity ago. In truth, he hadn't had nightmares since Felicity moved in. He had been doing better at school, more talkative and overall just happier over those past few months, all because of getting a better night's sleep, they said. And it wasn't a lie, he was more well-rested, but his new friend also played a huge part in it. Before she moved in, the mansion had been empty and hallow, and he had spent most of his time watching the hours tick by, or occupying himself with making alterations in his treehouse. He may have built it with his father, but that didn't mean that Robert spent any time with him up there, playing board games or anything, really.

"What was it about?"

"I don't remember" He rubbed his eyes, trying not to think about it too hard. When he looked back at her, she was yawning.

"Did I wake you?"

She shook her head. "No, I couldn't sleep."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Felicity was quiet for a moment. Sighing softly, she averted her gaze and started fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"I can't stop thinking about my dad." She mumbled, staring straight ahead, out of the window, watching the snow twirl down.

Oliver sighed softly. He knew this was the answer that he would be getting. Felicity hadn't quite been the same since that phone call. She hadn't said as much as she normally would and she'd barely eaten, even though roasted salmon was her favorite. He squeezed her hand a little, running his thumb over her knuckles.

"It's gonna be okay."

Felicity sniffled, and wiped away the tears that she finally freed. She turned to look at Oliver, cheeks already tear-stained and eyes red-rimmed.

"You think so?"

Nodding, he smiled at her. "I know so."

A chuckle escaped from her lips, and she furiously wiped away the stupid tears. Sniffling again, she threw her arms around his neck. His hands rubbed her back in soothing circles. They stayed like that for a while, until she pulled away, blushing a little.

"We should go back to bed."

Oliver nodded in agreement, but frowned when she moved to hop off the bed. He reached for the hand that was lying atop of the comforter. Handholding had really become their thing

"Please. Don't go."

She looked up at him through hooded eyes, the exhaustion already pulling at her.

"Nightmares?" she asked. He nodded and then she nodded and scooted further onto the bed, climbing to the other side and slipping under the covers, never letting go of Oliver's hand. They fell asleep within minutes, and naturally, Oliver didn't have any more nightmares that night.

The sunlight came seeping in from their bedroom window, warming her cheeks. As she drifted into consciousness, she became more and more aware of the warmth and brightness, and she desperately wanted to stay in that blissful place of no worries. She was, rudely in her opinion, pulled out that state by Oliver tugging on her hand, and whispering her name.

"Felicity. Felicity wake up." She heard the sigh that escaped from his lips.

"Come on, it's Christmas morning!" He was becoming impatient now so she carefully cracked open an eye, only to see a wide-eyed, brightly smiling Oliver hovering over her. She opened her eyes and smiled back at him.

"Alright, Alright, I'm awake."

"Finally. Come on, I wanna go downstairs to unwrap our gifts!"

He jumped up a little and hopped of the bed, reaching for the fuzzy socks that were lying on the ground and put them on. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Yawning, she took her pair of socks that Oliver had already retrieved for her. She kicked her legs free from the comforter and put the socks on, Oliver hopping impatiently from one foot to the other. When she was finished he offered her his hand and she gratefully took it, hopping off the bed. Together they headed downstairs and to the Christmas tree.

Felicity's eyes went wide when she saw the stack of presents underneath the tree. Never had she ever seen such an impressive stack. Now she was getting excited.

"It's Christmas!" Oliver laughed.

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_Thank you for reading! I hope you guys like the little Frozen easter-egg I put in there!_

**_Love, Carolina_**


	3. Paradise

**CHAPTER THREE: PARADISE**

_When she was just a girl_  
_She expected the world_  
_But it flew away from her reach_  
_So she ran away in her sleep_  
_Dreamed of para- para- paradise_  
_Para- para- paradise_  
_Para- para- paradise_  
_Every time she closed her eyes_  
_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh_

_When she was just a girl_  
_She expected the world_  
_But it flew away from her reach_  
_And the bullets catch in her teeth_

_Life goes on_  
_It gets so heavy_  
_The wheel breaks the butterfly_  
_Every tear, a waterfall_  
_In the night, the stormy night_  
_She closed her eyes_  
_In the night, the stormy night_  
_Away she'd fly._

_And dreamed of para- para- paradise_  
_Para- para- paradise_  
_Para- para- paradise_  
_Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh_

The day she had dreaded for almost two and a half years had finally come and there was nothing she could have done about it. Staring out of the window a tear slipped out from the corner of her eye. How could she even try to sleep, knowing the nightmares were still haunting him. She and Oliver had grown to be best friends over the years, spending almost every second of every day together. The sudden withdrawal hit her hard. She missed him like crazy, and it had been only a few hours since she'd last seen him. In the years she had spent living with the Queens, Felicity had become a vital part in their little family. Her brightness and bubbly personality always found a way to cheer someone up. And now here she was, in a house she no longer called home, in a room that was no longer hers, in a bed that belonged to a person she no longer was.

The last couple of years had changed her, made her tougher, wiser and less trusting. She was hurt by what her father had done to her, but she was also glad with what she had gotten in return. Felicity had seen only seven summers, the eight quick approaching, but she had the wisdom of someone twice her age. She easily picked up on emotions, and knew how to deal with them, if her own, or someone else's. Especially Oliver's. He was an open book to her. Their bond had strengthened in a way that was hard to describe. They would only have to share a look to instantly know what the other was thinking. It almost started to concern Moira a little, seeing the two have entire conversations with just staring at each other.

Felicity rolled back on her back, unable to let the exhaustion wash over her and let it pull her into a comfortable slumber. She was thinking about him again, wondering if he was getting any rest. If there would be someone there to help him chase away the nightmares. If there would be someone there to sooth him back to sleep. She had taken on that job after they had fallen asleep together on the first Christmas' Eve she'd spent with them. It wasn't like she was the only one helping the other. Having his hand in hers comforted her on an inexplicable level.

Wiping another tear off her cheek, she sat up in the uncomfortably unfamiliar bed. She swallowed and threw the covers off of her and let her bare feet touch the cold hardwood floor. Grabbing the stuffed teddy-bear Moira had given her, she shuffled across the room and into the hall. The house was silent, it being the middle of the night. She walked in the direction she knew the stairs were. It had been so long since she had set foot in this house, it had alienated itself to her. She remembered the days she'd spent here, with her mother, but it just felt like those weren't her memories, but someone else's. She pulled Mr. Patches –the stuffed animal's name originating from the many times he had gotten himself into the teddy-bear hospital because of some brutal fabric wound, the stitches the evidence of his many adventures– closer to her chest. As quietly as she could, she walked down the stairs, ending up in front of a door she could only remember as not allowed to enter. Of course, this only spiked her curiosity. With one hand, she reached for the doorknob and pushed open the door.

As she stepped onto the descending stairs, she could feel the draft slip along her feet. She shivered. Even though it was the middle of May, Oliver's birthday a week behind them, the night could still get pretty cold. At the bottom of the stairs, she found a light-switch. Flipping it, she found herself standing in an enormous garage. Really? A garage? Why would she not be allowed down here? She frowned and stared appreciatively at all the beautiful cars, a silver Bugatti, a sleek, black Aston Martin, a navy, sturdy looking Jeep and all the way in the back of the garage, up on the car lift, a bright red vintage Ferrari. She hurried over to the beauty of a car, running her fingers over the headlights. Pressing her lips together she tried to hide her smile and reached out for the button that would lower the car.

She was in the front seat as soon as the lift came to a stop and the wheels touched the ground. Closing the door, she settled herself in the soft leather seat, her hand reaching out to run along the steering wheel. The memories of her summer in Italy all rushing back to her.

A year ago, The Queens had taken her to Europe for the summer. She had absolutely loved it. All the new food she got to taste, spending afternoons at the beautiful beaches, and basically just everything the Mediterranean lifestyle had to offer. Robert had rented a red Ferrari very similar to this one, for them to drive around in, exploring the countryside and picturesque villages. That summer she had learned a lot about cars, very intrigued about the way Robert talked about them, like they were beautiful miracles. Oliver wasn't really into it, spending most of his time at the pool their little villa had come with. But, Felicity had always been curious, and she wanted to know everything that could possibly fit into her tiny head. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that she got to spend time with Robert.

Slumping back into the leather seat, she took a deep breath, smiling a little at the memories that now flooded her brain. She pulled her feet up on the seat, hugging her knees close to her body. Why did her father come back? That was what she just couldn't understand. He had left her two and a half years ago, with complete strangers, to her at least, only calling twice a year, on her birthday and for Christmas, and suddenly he was there, without so much as a notice that he would be picking her up soon. Nothing, he had just showed up on the Queen's doorstep, basically demanding her to come home. She had cried, a lot, never in her wildest nightmares had it happened so suddenly, without barely any time to say goodbye. Oliver had still been at school and she was forced to leave without a last hug. It broke her heart, again. Malcolm broke her heart.

The drive back to the Merlyn house was silent. She had barely said anything to him since he stepped into the hall of the Queen Manor. She was pouting, refusing to cry in front of him, stubborn and angry as she was. Malcolm sighed on the other end of the town car. He had attempted at making her feel better, but he hadn't cared, hell, even seen his daughter in almost three years and he didn't know the first thing about the girl she had grown to be. He didn't even know the first thing about decent parenting, Rebecca had always been there to help him with Felicity, because it simply didn't come that natural to him. He missed her so much. She would have known what to do. She had been the absolute best with taking care of their daughter. But she wasn't here anymore, god rest her soul, and he had to find a way to rekindle the relationship he had had with Felicity before she was murdered. He loved the girl with all his heart, but without his wife by his side, he had no idea how to get through to her.

Her eyes widened when she first saw him, mouth hanging open slightly. Malcolm bent down to hug her, her arms hanging limp around his shoulders. Moira nervously playing with the ring on her finger as she looked at the two of them, his gaze meeting hers when he stepped away from Felicity. She had grown so much, must have been at least 5 inches. She looked leaner as well, the last of the little baby fat gone, and her face looking less round. Her hair had grown, it now way past her shoulders. Her eyes still gorgeously blue, wide behind her glasses, just like her mother's. Malcolm smiled at his beautiful daughter, a hand on her shoulder.

"We're going home, pumpkin."

Felicity sniffled and nodded slowly, frowning as she looked up at him.

"What about my stuff?"

As is on cue, Raisa, silently bossing around two other staff members holding her suitcases and some boxes, came walking down the stairs. As they reached the last step, Raisa stepped forward, the other two waiting.

"Shall we put these in the car, Mr. Merlyn?"

"Yes. Thank you, Raisa."

She nodded politely and turned back to direct the staff outside and to the car. Malcolm turned back to Felicity and smiled softly.

"See, all taken care of, sweetheart."

Felicity clasped her hands together and licked her lips. She was quiet for a moment before turning around to look at Moira, the woman she had considered her mother for over the past two years. She absolutely loved it to watch her put on make-up and curl her hair, sometimes they would put Felicity's hair in a beautiful up-do, and she would put on a pretty dress and feel like a princess all day. She loved the games she played with Oliver too, but sometimes a girl wanted something girly to do. Sometimes, she would even 'lend' Moira's high heels and try to walk in them, without succeeding, but it was fun and a way for her to enjoy herself and not think about the bad things in her life. That's why Moira didn't mind and would just let her.

Moira crouched down to look at Felicity, the woman clearly having a hard time. They hugged for a long moment. When they parted, Moira cupped Felicity's face and pressed a kiss on her forehead. Felicity smiled softly, seeing the sadness in Moira's eyes.

"Say goodbye to Oliver and Robert for me?" She asked quietly.

Moira nodded, a soft but sad smile on her lips.

"We're going to miss you, sweetie."

"I'm going to miss you too."

That's when the tears spilled from her eyes and Moira pulled her closer for another hug. Felicity wrapped her arms around her tightly, shutting her eyes as Moira gently stroked her hair.

"You can come here whenever you want." Moira said as she pulled away, wiping the tears from the girl's cheeks. Felicity nodded and smiled, turning back around to look at her father.

"Ready to go?"

Felicity nodded again, slowly, and took his outstretched hand.

"Take good care of her, Malcolm." Moira said, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"I will."

He tightened his grip on her hand and they walked outside and got into the car.

"What would you like for dinner? Is Spaghetti Carbonara still your favorite?"

Felicity ignored him, turning her head to look out of the window, arms crossed over her chest. Malcolm sighed. She had been silent ever since they got into the car, leaving him very frustrated. He had let her be angry with him for a while but he just couldn't take the silence anymore.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye to Oliver." Felicity whispered, hands playing with her mother's locket that hung around her neck. Malcolm smiled a little as he saw the piece of jewelry and sighed again. That earned him a quick sideways glance from his daughter.

"Felicity, sweetheart."

She looked away again, refusing to meet his gaze. Malcolm reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder.

"You will see him soon."

Finally, she looked up, with hope-filled eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise, Felicity."

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She missed him so much already. The only thing she wanted was to lay down beside him on the big king sized bed that occupied his room. It was so soft and comfortable. But mostly, he was there and it felt right. That was about a thousand times better then loneliness she felt when in her own room. Sitting here, in the vintage Ferrari, the exhaustion finally started washing over her. She curled into a ball, Mr. Patches clutched to her chest, and she fell into a comfortable slumber.

She dreamt about not being stuck in this house anymore. Of playing video-games after school with Oliver, in his tree-house or the recreational room in the Queen Mansion. About dancing around and chasing each other in their pajamas on the weekend and stealing the cookies Raisa baked from the kitchen and eat them all in the fort they would build. Watching 90's cartoons on the little TV they had managed to sneak in there. Reading books in the library, and Oliver reading to her from the books she wasn't able to read yet. She dreamt about the summer trips to the beach, building sandcastles and pretending to be a mermaid in the ocean. And the trips they made with the Gambit were hard to forget too. She loved the wind in her hair, the swaying of the boat on the waves, and the salty smell that surrounded her. Those trips were her favorite, not to mention, the boat was very, very comfortable. She dreamt about the Family dinners they had each Sunday, Moira asking her about her day, Felicity eager to tell her every little detail, her stories always full of excitement and enthusiasm.

She dreamt about Oliver sticking up for her when the kids at school were teasing her because of her glasses. He basically told them they were stupid pigs and they were just jealous because Felicity was so smart and pretty, even if she did have glasses. She would stick out her tongue and they would just stride off together, finding something fun to do. She dreamt about Robert tucking her in at night when she had had a bad day, telling her that everything would be alright. She never doubted him, and she tried to live by his words, but after he'd tucked her in, she would soon sneak out to go to Oliver and sleep next to him in the ridiculously big bed that occupied his room. She dreamt of days spent clothes shopping with Moira. They would always have a fancy lunch, and never failed at finding exactly what they had wanted.

She dreamt about the ballet-classes she took, being introverted as she was, she had a hard time making friends, until she met Charlotte. She was in her class at school, but they were both shy and very smart. They shared a moment in ballet (a very awkward one, that resulted in a lot of laughter) and they were instant best friends. The two finished each other's sentences. Their first recital, a simpler version of the Swan Lake, the entire Queen family was sitting on the front row, clapping and cheering for her. It was the same with Oliver's soccer matches. Each Saturday afternoon, they would go down to the field and cheer for him and his team. They even ended up winning the championship.

She dreamt about the times she and Oliver went with Raisa to get the groceries, picking out all the tasty stuff. She dreamt about dressing up for Halloween, her baby-pink baroque princess dress and Oliver's Iron Man suit. She had never, ever, seen so much candy. To say it had been successful trick-or-treating that year would be underselling.

Now, Halloween had been amazing, but her eighth birthday party outdid most sweet sixteen parties. It had everything, from vanilla flavored cake with violet frosting, to a bouncing castle, to a bubble machine, a couple of horses for the kids to ride. The pool had been decorated, and women dressed up as mermaids, very realistic ones, swimming around, singing on the edge, combing their hair and doing all kinds of mermaid things. Everything was very much like the fairytales and stories she had read and loved so much. It wasn't all princess-y and cute, there were acrobats, even a tiger, a fire-breather, and there even was a nautical themed part, with pirates and gold treasures, and sword-fights and parrots. She loved it, even if it was a bit too extravagant to her liking. But extravagant in the best way possible.

It wasn't that this was something she couldn't have expected. Oliver's parties, or even any Queen party, was extremely extravagant. But, Oliver's parties were themed differently. Mostly Star Wars. Or Superheroes. Staying with the Queens would probably be the best thing that could have happened to her, she would still say so later in life.

Her life was there, with the family that had become hers. Not here, in an unfamiliar house, taken away from what she considered to be paradise, pulled away, back to face the reality that was in fact, her life.

The next morning, Malcolm found her. In the same position she had fell asleep in that night, curled up into a little ball, hiding from the world. He had gone by her room, waking her for breakfast, but he found it to be empty. A little panicked and maybe a bit paranoia, he had the staff sweep the house to find his daughter. He was pacing around the living room when someone told him she had been found, fast asleep, in the cold and dark garage, in a vintage Ferrari. He sighed softly at his daughter looking so peaceful, the bear clutched close to her body, eyelids fluttering a little as she dreamt. He pulled the car-door open and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the car easily and carrying her back to bed.

It would take them a while to get used to each other again, that, Malcolm had expected. How hard it would be? He had no idea.

* * *

_Please be sure to leave a review, I love hearing what you guys think! _

**_Love, Carolina_**


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